Vogue is for illiterates

As I look at the three foot stack of magazines staring back at me in the reading room(you know, where I rest on the porcelain throne at 8:15am most days) I spy a headline of the wife's latest issue of Vogue that says "4 day drug detox". Though I have little interest in drug rehab, detox diets intrigue me so I decide to crack open the Yellow Pages sized magazine to check it out. That magazine is made for people who do not read! Its like when you're in a mall and all you want to do is get your underwear and some t-shirts at the gap and leave, but the up escalator and down escalator are on opposite ends of the mall so you have to walk past every shop. Well, finding a table of contents in Vogue is like finding a down escalator, you are going to put in some work to find it. The table of contents starts on around page 160 although who can tell for sure, since they arbitrarily decide when to put page numbers in there, and with all the "ads" between the ads, page numbering gets a little hinky. I never did find the article on detox. Such is life...